You all know how this story's going to go, right?
I take up my Official Emergency Representative (#didcleofreezeyetomgupdates) Duties with gusto:
@foresthouse: NOT YET :D RT @cleolinda If for some reason I can't communicate any other way, @foresthouse will be in charge of DID CLEO FREEZE OMG updates
@foresthouse: SHE ATE A POPSICLE, THOUGH. (@cleolinda: you should never have given me this responsibility. HEE.)
@foresthouse: I HEAR SHE HAS A FIREPLACE (http://tinyurl.com/2bnwchu) SO SHE PROBABLY WON'T GET FROSTBITE. PROBABLY.
@foresthouse: IT IS COMING. *ominous drumbeats* IT IS COMING. RT @cleolinda: @foresthouse WE DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY SNOW YET! hee.
@NoelCT: @foresthouse It's good that @cleolinda has a fireplace. But if she runs out of wood, will she sacrifice her dolls for warmth?
@foresthouse: @NoelCT MAYBE ONLY THE ONES SHE HAS TWO OF. #dontburntheshefiansnoooooo
@foresthouse: BUT PLASTIC FUMES WOULD POISON EVERYONE! RT @cleolinda: @foresthouse "I HEAR THEY'RE FLAMMABLE."
@foresthouse: A MASTERMIND IN OUR MIDST, Y'ALL RT @NoelCT The fumes will numb perception, thus the cold won't be felt. #winwin
@curryalley: @cleolinda Don't burn the Shelfians! Instead, send them out to catch squirrel to roast over the fire so you don't STARVE OMG.
@foresthouse: @curryalley @cleolinda MMM, SQUIRRELS AND NUTS ROASTING O'ER AN OPEN FIRE. #wellshewontstarvesayslegolas
@foresthouse: NOT YET WOOHOO. BUT THERE MAY BE RIOTS. http://bit.ly/i2DQ82 RT @Eviey: @foresthouse So... #didcleofreezeyetomgupdates?
@foresthouse: @cleolinda @Maudelynn CHARGE YO PHONE. CHARGE YO IPAD. BECAUSE WE GON' HAVE AN ICE STORM UP IN HERE.
@foresthouse: THE ENTIRE SOUTH: *FLAILS* RT @cleolinda They're predicting from 2 to 8 inches of snow. http://bit.ly/fUsKqG
@foresthouse: THE ENTIRE SOUTH: *DIES* RT @cleolinda State of emergency declared in AL; up to 10" predicted http://bit.ly/i0YjcV
@foresthouse: DON'T WORRY CLEO OWNS A HARDHAT I PROMISE; WILL NOT LOSE BRAIN TO HAIL. RT @cleolinda Aaaaaand the hail begins.
@cleolinda: It's like a fine sleet at the moment. But earlier than we expected.
@foresthouse: ALABAMA HAS ACHIEVED: SLEET. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: "FALLEN ICE" (ambush your opponents) #MUA2 #XBox
@foresthouse: @CLEOLINDA IS PREPARING FOR: THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. GOAL #1: GET ARCTIC TRUCK. (http://tinyurl.com/25m2zug)
@foresthouse: @CLEOLINDA'S SISTER GIRL GOT STUCK IN ICE. JOKE ABOUT NEEDING ARCTIC TRUCK NOT SO FUNNY NOW, ALTHOUGH MORE APT.
@foresthouse: WELL NOW YOU'VE SAID IT... RT @Eviey I hope wolves don't escape from the zoo while Cleo needs to go get penicillin off a Russian freighter.
@foresthouse: Wolves? :P RT @cleolinda: @foresthouse @Eviey Happily, I'm allergic to penicillin. Possibly also to freighters.
@foresthouse: RT @cleolinda Oh, hey, there is definitely snow on the ground. I couldn't see it falling from my window in the dark.
@foresthouse: @cleolinda THE OMINOUS DRUMS NEVER LIE.
@foresthouse: RT @cleolinda It really is. RT @Kate_Hart: This snow is very sparkly. It looks like my deck has been glittered.
@foresthouse: @CLEOLINDA HAS BEEN DAZZLED BY THE SNOW. THERE MAY BE NO HOPE FOR HER NOW.
@NoelCT: @foresthouse If only @cleolinda knew that Twihards use falling snow to camouflage their sequins during secret raids.
@foresthouse: @NoelCT OH NOES. THEY ARE COMING FOR THE LITTLEST EDWARD!!! [HIDE YO DOLLS, HIDE YO TINY THINGS]
I'm sorry, Internetz. I cannot be stopped. :D