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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!! - Walking on the Edge
I don't really have a plan...
Well, kids, that's it for me. I'm tired of this silly "law" stuff. Copyright? Trademark? Who needs it? Entertainment law? Whatever! I got a letter in the mail today telling me an anonymous benefactor just paid off my $1.7 trillion dollar law school debt, so I am OUTTA THIS PLACE.

Now that I'm freeeeeeeee, I've decided to act on my TRUE desires. Therefore, I am going...to buy a yurt! (I've always wanted to live in a yurt.)

I'm also moving to Antarctica. My bestest friend ever, Sandra Bullock, just sent me an email about this GREAT colony of penguins that we can go and live in harmony with. She is so OVER this stupid-husband-cheating thing, and the two of us have decided to therefore eschew all men (Bridget Jones is yea verily our role model) and go make mukluks together in the wild. We are also going to enroll in the colony's newly offered course, "Teach Yourself Epic Ice Sculpture in Just Three Days." Because as it turns out, Sandy B's secret lifelong dream is to be an ice sculptor! Who knew? (Well I did, but I wasn't going to tell any of YOU.)

Since I will no longer need most of my stuff (it won't fit in the deluxe igloo we are putting next to the yurt), I hereby bequeath the following to my lovely friends:

My ridiculously large collection of Deadpool everything:

deadpoolbugle and youtubedeadpool may peruse the collection and divide evenly between themselves anything in my collection that they want and don't already have. All determinations of fair division will be presided over by Kitty Pryde, who lives in my closet on the weekends. If there is fighting, money should be charged and the Ultimate Conqueror of the fight shall be awarded a tiny pig. But he shall lose whatever he was fighting for, because there should never be fighting among friends! Unless it's over the Deadpool #1 Joe! Kelly! signed. All bets are off then.

The remainder of my collection will be shipped in a giant mint chocolate chip cake to vwlphb, but she must never sell it or fiery turtles from the sky will descend to attack her. I've contracted with some fiery turles for just this purpose. Dollpool will also revert back to vwlphb unless she says it's ok for youtubedeadpool to have it, in which case he gets it for his son, who is NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH THE DOLLPOOL UNTIL HE WASHES HIS STICKY HANDS. HOWEVER, all claims to Dollpool outside of vwlphb are trumped if Nathan Massengill wants him. Because, hello? It's Nathan. He rules.

My collection of Discworld memorabilia shall be sent to the Alzheimer's Research Trust to auction off, because even on days when we are silly we know a good cause when we see it. Except for anything that annamc might want. She gets first pick.

My collection of Tiny Things Just The Right Size For Dolls goes to cleolinda. That includes the mysteriously lost box of Tiny Things that I SWEAR is somewhere in my parents' basement in New Jersey. Every last tiny candlestick and fork in that box will be cleolinda's, unless she stops writing Secret Life of Dolls, in which case the Tiny Things will come to life and chase her around yelling at her (WHAT HAPPENED TO FARAMIIIIIIIIR? DID THE SQUIRRELS GET HIIIIIM? WILL EDWARD CHOOSE BELLA OVER HIS PONIIIIIIIEEEEES? WE MUST KNOW.) before running away and becoming the possessions of maudelynn.

All tiny vampire or frankesteinesque stuffed bears that may exist in my apartment at the time of said move to the Penguin Colony are hereby the property of maudelynn. Also any floofy skirts she wants. HOWEVER, if she posts more than two (2) picspam posts (YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN) in one week, vampbear will be transferred to the custody of cleolinda until such time as maudelynn can stay within the stated limits (IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD), at which point she will receive Iron Man Bear (I'M ONLY TRYING TO HELP, YOU KNOW). Iron Man Bear currently exists only in the world of InPotentia, but I have eXtreme confidence he will be real and furry by the time I move. (OH, WHO ARE WE KIDDING. I LOVE THOSE POSTS. :D)

To queenanthai I leave my entire collection of non-Deadpool comics (MOSTLY MARVEL YOU KNOW), but only if she a) reads them all within 26.2 days of receipt and b) proclaims in front of at least 15 reliable witnesses (or on Made of Fail) that, and I quote, "Yeah, ok. Marvel's cool too." and does NOT follow this statement with either "But...GEOFF JOHNS" or "DC DC DC DC" or "I LOVE STERLING GATES THE MOSTEST." And under no circumstances is she allowed to utter "WIL WHEATON" until at least 20 minutes after the statement is made, or her ownership of said comics will immediately pass to alliancesjr, who will be allowed to keep them forever but only if he reads them all within 5 days. Bathroom breaks are allowed.

My membership at the next UK Discworld Convention goes to alliancesjr, who will have full permission to claim that he is, in fact, "Emily," and therefore is on "a first name basis" with all Discworld folk. (Pls. note all responsibility for anything that anyone in the Discworld community might ever blame "Emily" for shall now be the sole responsibility of alliancesjr as well. But don't worry. They never found out about the time Terry only appeared as a hologram at a main convention event. Or the time I stole his hat and pretended to be him and got away with it. Or that I was the person behind the bit with the lemurs. Whoooo, boy. Those lemurs were funny.)

To addygryff I leave my vast collection of digital Deadpool related stuff, if she can find it on my hard drive. And ask_deadpool, to be owned jointly with gestalt1, pensive1, and skybreak_seeker. However, henceforth ask_deadpool shall only be used for posting LolDeadpool pics. Any violations of this pronouncement, and ownership will revert to deadpoolbugle. (Disclaimer: I am not responsible for anything that happens once any of the named heirs to the kingdom accept ownership for ask_deadpool. No, Deadpool never teleports out of the computer to write the entries himself before going down to the corner bar for a drink and a fight. No, I've never had to pay damages to four old ladies and a carrier pigeon trainer for anything related to this completely fictional event. Don't worry. It's all perfectly safe.)

To ashcomp I give the choice of a piece of my Discworld collection (before it goes away) and his choice of 20 sci-fi or fantasy books from my shelves. But if he takes any of the ones signed by people with an even number of letters in their names, his convertible will immediately turn into a Yugo. So ashcomp, think carefully about how much that Once More With Footnotes signed by Sir Terry and Esther Friesner is worth to ya!

To all the snarkers on my list, I leave my snark with you. I won't need it in Antarctica, as penguins are VERY SERIOUS. I have heard some of them even have SERIOUS MEETINGS. But I am not worried. After you have my snark, I will be serious too.

To katzchen3 and prettyh, I WOULD hand over my collection of Matt Good stuff, except that I am quite sure that both of you already have more Matt Good stuff than me. Therefore, I will take it with me. I have heard penguins REALLY LIKE the song about that place being about to burn or something. I can't imagine why. I mean, it's not like they ever get COLD. But I will play it for them anyway and see what happens. If they dance, I will send the recording to both Heathers via sled dog, and there will be a penguin party.

lady_of_mists, you may have my little limited edition lead Deadpool figure from the UK (sorry, other Deadpool folk) but ONLY if you can recite backwards and with complete canon accuracy the entirety of the Deadpool/T-Ray storyline. Phone calls to writer Joe! Kelly! for clues will be considered TOTALLY CHEATING. Arguments as to whether Wade is really named Wade or Jack shall be settled by means of opening a Secret Envelope I will leave in the apartment. When opened, the page inside will read. "HIS NAME IS WADE. BECAUSE I LIKE THAT STORYLINE BETTER." All people who show up claiming that Deadpooi was actually A Man Named Jack will be visited by a flock of angry seagulls with digestive problems.

Anything I own that is vaguely Norwegian in nature shall go to nsfinch. This includes anything she sees and wants that she can convince OTHER people is "totes related to Norway, ja!" I have full confidence she may manage to walk off with half of my belongings in just this manner. Which is good, because I'm too lazy to get rid of the stuff myself.

particle_person gets ALLLLL my books on science. Oh wait. I don't have any books on science. Well ok then. How about that one book on coding Java? COME ON IT'S RIVETING.

To snacky I shall give the tiny clay ice cream sundae I made once. Sorry, cleolinda. But you still get the tiny mugs! I also leave her Emily's Law, which states that "IT'S ALL GOOD IF I SAY IT IS SO STOP FIGHTING ON THE INTERNETZ." This shall also be known as the Random Mod Law, and will surely catch on one of these days so I can be cool like the cool kids (I'M LOOKIN' AT YOU, GODWIN.)

dachelle, you can have that one Dylan Moran TV appearance video that I own and you might not. You may also have Dylan Moran's hair, which I own under the common laws of Pluto. Be warned, though: detaching the hair from his head is prohibited by Plutonian law. Also I've heard it comes to life if you aren't looking directly at it. Watch out for sneak attacks!

To all my other friends, I would leave you things but I can't remember what else I own and also, I am lazy. All this typing (which I am doing with my left foot after having learned Left Foot Typing from a book) is making me hungry. BUT I LOVE YOU LIKE CRAZY. So if you comment on this post I will leave you something. And those who don't can have all the stuff that's left over. Except for the pepper shaker. Don't take it out of the apartment. It is possessed, and you do NOT want to see what happens if it leaves the apartment. Trust me. Zuul is afraid of my pepper shaker. That's how bad it is.

And now, all that remains before I board the boat that will take us to the barge that will take us to the shuttle that will take us to the plane that will take us to the helicopter that will take us to Antarctica is to say -- HEY. WHO MOVED MY POPSICLE?

Peace out, playas.

Tags: , , ,
Trixie is at: A bus with internet. This part is NOT A JOKE.
Trixie feels: bouncy AWESOME
playing in the clubhouse: A secret song that hasn't been released yet.

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kokopellinelli From: kokopellinelli Date: April 1st, 2010 06:03 pm (UTC) (current file)
Tee hee! :)
foresthouse From: foresthouse Date: April 2nd, 2010 03:20 pm (UTC) (current file)
Ah-ha! You hath commented! Therefore I hearby leave you all of my papercrafting materials, because I know you like to send cool cards to people. :D HOWEVER, if you do not use said materials to send cards to at least 10 people within 30 days of receipt, I have it on good authority (from the one who passed these mystical materials along to me) that everything in your house will immediately turn to paper. Good luck sitting down on your furniture if THAT happens!
maudelynn From: maudelynn Date: April 1st, 2010 06:22 pm (UTC) (current file)
After I get Tiny Iron Bear, may I then post more than 1 hot spam post a week if he is included in said multiple hot spam posts?
foresthouse From: foresthouse Date: April 2nd, 2010 03:21 pm (UTC) (current file)
I...well...OK then. It shall be permitted. :D
(Deleted comment)
foresthouse From: foresthouse Date: April 2nd, 2010 03:22 pm (UTC) (current file)
HEEE. I know. Poor Dayna, she will lose out on all that comicy goodness just because of her love of Wil.

P.S. Hello, "Emily." HEEE.
camella From: camella Date: April 1st, 2010 07:24 pm (UTC) (current file)
Awesome! I'm so glad you finally get to fulfill your true desires of living with the penguins.

Congrats on getting your law school debt paid off! Can you please direct your anonymous benefactor my way? ;-)
foresthouse From: foresthouse Date: April 2nd, 2010 03:23 pm (UTC) (current file)
Ah-ha! Ask, and ye shall receive! Since you request a specific bequest, I shall comply and send my benefactor along your way. BE WARNED, though. To get your debt forgiven you must answer 3 questions correctly, and if you do not, your hair will immediately turn blue. FOREVER.
nixve From: nixve Date: April 1st, 2010 07:36 pm (UTC) (current file)
I've always wanted to live in a yurt, too! Send me a penguin!

(oh, like you could ever give up all your Deadpool stuff, even if you were going to live in a yurt. It would be a yurt covered in Deadpool stuff. ;) )
foresthouse From: foresthouse Date: April 2nd, 2010 03:25 pm (UTC) (current file)
You are right. It might even be a yurt MADE of Deadpool stuff. Hee.

Since you request it, I shall send you The Littlest Penguin Ever, once I locate said penguin. I will also send you a block of Antarctic ice, although I cannot guarantee the condition of said ice by the time it reaches Seattle. :D
snacky From: snacky Date: April 1st, 2010 07:43 pm (UTC) (current file)
Yay, I got stuff! :D
foresthouse From: foresthouse Date: April 2nd, 2010 03:26 pm (UTC) (current file)
Yay! You can also have any of my leftover snax. I've got ALMOST A WHOLE BOX OF ANDES MINTS UP IN HERE. :D
vwlphb From: vwlphb Date: April 1st, 2010 07:44 pm (UTC) (current file)
Haha, thank you for remembering me in your online will XD
foresthouse From: foresthouse Date: April 2nd, 2010 03:27 pm (UTC) (current file)
Of course, m'dear. :D
cutebutpsycho99 From: cutebutpsycho99 Date: April 1st, 2010 07:56 pm (UTC) (current file)
I GET NOTHING? *sob* I've sent you so many links. And Sherlock Holmes. And Vimes. And Deadpool.

Well, they were cluttering up my kitchen. Holmes was a pain the ass asking for coke all the damn time.
foresthouse From: foresthouse Date: April 2nd, 2010 03:29 pm (UTC) (current file)
YOU GET THINGS. Well first of all you get a percentage of my Snark, as stated.

BUT SINCE YOU HATH COMMENTED, I also hereby leave you The Hair. You know the hair of which I speak. I did not tell you before that I actually OWN the hair, but this is the case. Also I leave you a reliable electric current for whenever the hair needs perking up. :D

Oh, and I suppose you can have my hardback Sherlock Holmes with original illustrations from The Strand, too. I mean, pssshtt. It's just cluttering up the place anyway. ;)
kirpunz From: kirpunz Date: April 1st, 2010 08:09 pm (UTC) (current file)
Have fun in your yurt!
foresthouse From: foresthouse Date: April 2nd, 2010 03:32 pm (UTC) (current file)
Thank you! And because you hath commented, I hereby leave you...MY MINI-YURT VILLAGE. That's right, I built a whole village out of mini-yurts, and now it is ALL YOURS. I recommend once you get it all set up, you charge admission. Everyone wants to see a good mini-yurt village!
(Deleted comment)
foresthouse From: foresthouse Date: April 2nd, 2010 03:39 pm (UTC) (current file)
BUT YOU HATH COMMENTED. Therefore, I do bequeath you...my CD collection. Be warned, though: the juxtaposition of handbell choirs and Korn has been known to make heads explode. :D
(Deleted comment)
ashcomp From: ashcomp Date: April 1st, 2010 10:54 pm (UTC) (current file)
Tossup which would be a better bet--a classic Yugo, or a 15-year-old convertible. I think it all comes down to how shiny the Discworld stuff is. You probably have one of the premier collections. . .
foresthouse From: foresthouse Date: April 2nd, 2010 03:41 pm (UTC) (current file)
I do have some nice stuff, you know. :D Soil of the Homeland and the limited edition first day cover signed my Terry, Bernard, and Isobel are amongst my things. Not to mention Tiny Stuffed Gaspode that Margie painted up to look all scruffy just for the con. Heh.
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prettyh From: prettyh Date: April 2nd, 2010 12:07 am (UTC) (current file)
YOU TOTALLY HAD ME ABOUT THE BENEFACTOR. And for three whole seconds I was overjoyed for you! ...before I looked at the calendar.

That said, I do think you should leave all of your MG stuff to us. We will fight it out via tug-of-war (which I'll totally win 'cos I'm the Bigger Heather). And you know what they say about penguins. (...don't you? 'Cos if you don't, I'LL TELL YOU.)
foresthouse From: foresthouse Date: April 2nd, 2010 03:50 pm (UTC) (current file)

Fair enough - y'all can have my MG stuff. Don't rip the hand-painted shirt when you're fighting over it, though! Or the signed setlist.

txvoodoo From: txvoodoo Date: April 2nd, 2010 04:08 am (UTC) (current file)
foresthouse From: foresthouse Date: April 2nd, 2010 03:58 pm (UTC) (current file)

I hereby leave you my vast collection of random livejournal icons, Pictures Of Things From The Internet That I Mean To Use In Iconage, and my very own icon journal, such as it is. BUT THIS BEQUEST COMES AT A PRICE. To receive it, ye must promise, yeah verily, to make some more Marvel/DC icons before the end of next month, because YEA VERILY I am so behind on those. I was supposed to make some, like, 6 months ago. Oops.

I would also leave you my extended edition LoTR, but I am really sure you already have that. Therefore, I'll just leave you Dom. Since I actually own him. BUT BE WARNED. He needs frequent walks to be happy.
elfie_chan From: elfie_chan Date: April 2nd, 2010 11:09 pm (UTC) (current file)
Got any yarn?

(I now want to go and see if I can find you a Mysterious Benefactor so that I can see what you actually do.)
foresthouse From: foresthouse Date: April 8th, 2010 03:43 pm (UTC) (current file)
Haha! For your commentation, I hereby bequeath you...not my yarn (for I hath none) but all my little bits of clay! WOO. But ONLY, and this is important now, if you make 3 tiny clay Deadpools in varying states of mayhem and melee, before the full moon rises twice.
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