Emily (foresthouse) wrote,

When the X-Men Party Like It's 1999 (yes, I totally DID just make that reference)

@PaulTobin is entirely to blame for the following (except for the teensy bit of blame that falls on my long Metro commute home).


On Twitter:

@PaulTobin asks the world: If you were hosting a party & could invite one super-team, who would it be? Avengers? JLA? Defenders? Fantastic Four?

@foresthouse replies: Tough one. Probably Avengers or X-Men. Avengers: I could have a lively debate w/Tony Stark about this whole "futurist" thing.

@foresthouse replies: X-Men: There are so many of them we'd have a rockin' party. Iceman could do sculptures. Magma could roast kebabs on Logan's claws.

@foresthouse replies: Plus, with the X-Men it's likely Deadpool would crash the party & he's my fav. OK, thought way too much abt. this question. :)

@PaulTobin replies: I'm pleased that you even went so far as to plan for party-crashers.


@foresthouse ponders to self: "So...if someone was to do, like, a big poster-sized sketch of all the X-Men partying, what would everyone be doing...?


People, you know I can't resist my brain when it gets on this kind of kick.

And thus, I present:

X-Men: Party of the Century! (A Play in Two Acts)


MAGNET WARS, Party Edition, Except Without Pictures of Magnets Because Hey, Does Anyone Have Some More X-Men Magnets I Could Borrow? I've Only Got Five and One's Just a Mutate!

Act I

The Scene: Night. Professor X-to-the-Heezy's Institute for Party People Yo! In The Dangerously Awesome Room, Which Is All Luau'd Up. And Also Possibly Lei'd.

Shadowcat: "Logan Logan Logan Hey Logan Hey Wolvieeeeeee."

Wolverine: "Grrrrnff whaddaya want, kid?"

Shadowcat: "Me an' Magma totally need your help, Logan. She's got the mini-volcano bubbling for fondue and I cut up all these nice veggies to roast but we ran out of wooden skewers to cook them on!"

Wolverine: *snort* "So?"

Shadowcat: "Soooo...I figure you've got sorta natural skewers, right? It wouldn't take a minute! Lockheed can roast these peppers in seconds, I swear. But he just ate a whole bunch of potatoes and he's going to go to sleep now if we don't hurry up. Pleeeeeeeaaaaseeee?"

Lockheed: *sleepy fiery burp*

Wolverine: "Kid, yer a pain in the ass."

Shadowcat: "I know! But I'm your SPECIAL SIDEKICK pain in the ass, right? Right!?"

Wolverine: *sigh* ... *snikt snikt* "Hurry up, then."

Shadowcat: "Yay!"


Pixie: "So...wait. You're telling me the only reason I was invited to this bash is because you wanted some of my hallucinatory dust to spike the already-alcoholic punch?"

Iceman: "Well, that and 'cause you're a total BABE, yeah. So can I have some?"

Pixie: "You do know what happens when you mix booze and pixie dust, right??"

Iceman: "Hells yeah: HILARITY ENSUES."

Pixie: "You can't have it."

Iceman: "Have I told you pink is my favorite hair color?"

Pixie: "You still can't have it."

Iceman: "I like the black streaks, too. Totally punk!"

Pixie: "The answer is no."

Iceman: "You know, I think wings are a real turn-on."

Pixie: "Still no."

Iceman: "...Welsh is a very sexy language?"

Pixie: "..."

Iceman: "OK, OK. I can see that you are a woman of principle." *sigh* "And no fun at all."

Jubilee: "Hey Bobby! Hey Megan! Whatchya doin'?"

Iceman: "Oh, I was just about to show Pixie here a neat little trick I know. Check this out!" *sculpt sculpt sculpt sculpt sculpt* "Ta-daaah!"

Jubilee: "AW! It's a tiny little ice-Pixie! That's adorable, Bobby! It looks just like her!"

Iceman: "Just for you, my fairy princess!" *wink wink*

Pixie: *sigh* "OK, OK. You win. But just a little dust, got it? I don't want Wolverine skewering unicorns in his sleep tonight."

Iceman: *fistpump* "Score!"

Jubilee: "Hey Bobby, you about done with the other ice sculptures? Alison wants to make sure we put them in the places with the best lighting for when she starts the music and light show going."

Dazzler: "...Although I think maybe the giant Spider-man one can go in the far corner, Bobby. I'm not even entirely sure why you made that."

Iceman: "What? I like Spidey!"

And near the buffet table...

Beast: "My my, this repast does look inviting, doesn't it?"

Gambit: "Well it should, mon ami! Ah even made mah special jambalaya for th' occasion."

Rogue: "Ah, sugah. Yuh just made that because yuh lahk to say, 'jambalaya'."

Gambit: "...True."

Bishop: "Well I don't care why you made it, it looks much better than what I used to have to eat. ...I mean what I *will* have had to eat. ...In the future, I mean. Which is actually my past. Which is...ooh. I...I think I have a headache now."

Emma Frost: "Here, Lucas. Come sit down and I'll fix that right up for you."

Bishop: "Nah, that's ok. Last time you rummaged around in my head, you left dirty pictures of yourself strewn all over the place!"

Cyclops: "...And that's a bad thing?"

Jean Grey: "SCOTT!"

Cyclops: "I mean, uh..."

Bishop: "They distracted me from my mission! I can't be having that."

Emma Frost: "Pity."


Nightcrawler: "Guten abend, meine freunde! Sorry I am late! I was with Storm, searching for ze limbo pole. Eet took us forever. Apparently, Kitty Pryde thought eet was ze best way to prop up her bunk bed! We are lucky eet did not break."

Storm: "At least we found it! I mean, it wouldn't be a proper party without the limbo!"

Rogue: "...Really?"






Storm: "Uh...what was that?"

Emma Frost: "Hm, let me just reach out and see if anyone's...OOOH. OW OW OW OW OW. Now I have a headache. Guys, it's--"

Deadpool: "HEY, FEEBS!! Heard you were havin' a big bash fer my birthday an' came right over! Ya shouldn't haaaave!"

Storm: "...We didn't."

Cable: "Wade? Your birthday's in July."

Deadpool: "Says you!"

Cable: "Says your LiveJournal user profile."

Deadpool: "Eh, ev'rybody knows that's all lies. 'Cept th' part about Agent Orca, a'course. And th' rest of it. That's all true."

Cable: "Regardless, Wade, this is an X-Men party. What are you doing here?"

Deadpool: "HEY! You know I'm an X-Man. I got th' uniform an' everything. Two, actually, if ya count Marvel Girl's."

Storm: *shudder* "Can we please not mention that again? Ever?"

Professor X: *squee squee squee squee* "Yes, Ororo. I think that would be most wise."

Deadpool: "Hey! It's Professor Smarty-Wheels. Man, you really need ta WD-40 that thing. Want me ta do it? I got some right here in my pouch..."

Professor X: "No, thank you, Mr. Wilson."

Deadpool: "OK, suit yerself! Hey, Is Cannonballs around here anywhere? I got a question ta ask him 'bout pants shoppin'."

Cable: *sigh* "No, Wade, and his name is Cannonball, not Cannonballs."

Deadpool: "WHUT? Aw, don' tell me. He had an unfortunate accident with a game'a basketball, a lawyer, an' a pencil, didn' he? Hey, if I'm th' only one who knows that, does that mean I get ta marry him?"

Storm: "...What?

Deadpool: "Huh. Guess ya had ta be there." *sniff* "Ah, Sandy B. I do love yer crazy drivin' an' native dancin'."

Emma Frost: "...Yyyeeaaah, uh--Oh, hey, look! Colossus and Angel just arrived. Excuse me!"

Dazzler: "Hey guys! Looks like everyone's here now. Oh...and Deadpool, too. So--you want me to get this party started?"

Deadpool: "HELLZ YEAH! I'll pass out the punch!"


Audience poll!

Act II: Y/N?


P.S. For more on the adventures of our fun-loving mutants, don't forget to read MAGNET WARS Prologue, Part I, Part II, and Part III. And of course, the ever-popular (maybe? slightly? I know some people out there read it!) ask_deadpool. SHAZAM!
Tags: comics, deadpool, series, silliness, the internet iz serius biznes, twitter, wolverine, writing, x-men

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