Emily (foresthouse) wrote,
Emily
foresthouse

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Cottage industries should form a commune...elsewhere

Dude, seriously - I know people are trying to make money every which way they can, but is it really so hard to make up a poem to put on a baby shower invitation or favor that it's necessary to have people you can pay to do it for you? Or guides on how to do it yourself? I mean, really. It's not that hard.

I went looking for a cute poem to add to the favors for Amanda's shower, and it turns out 8 out of 10 of the links Google pulls up are either people selling custom poems, or guides on how You! Too! Can! Write! The! Perfect! Shower! Poem!!!!!

I'm in awe.

Although I guess I shouldn't knock it until I try it. So, ok, here we go. I'm giving myself 1 minute to write a 4 line baby poem for shower favors. Ready? GO:

...

Thank you for coming
to share in my joy
As I celebrate the arrival
of a new baby boy!

...

Dude. That one took me all of 30 seconds.

Let's try again:

...

I'm glad you could join me
on this very special day
as we look forward to greeting
the new baby on the way!

...

Hey! This is pretty fun. Hrm. Maybe I should start up my own baby shower poem site.

Ooh. With special poems for those of us with quirky senses of humor?

...

Thank goodness for this awesome party
and all of my great friends,
because once this baby boy is born
I may never have time to see you again!

...

You guys, I think this idea is a winner.

...

ETA: Thank you, friends, for trying your own hand at this and providing me with more laughs.

From elfie_chan:

The presents and wishes
Are all in a heap
What I really wanted
Was a whole night's sleep.

From nsfinch:

Thank you for spending a beautiful hour
With me and my family enjoying the shower
The baby came early; I'm sorry to run
But please finish the cake and keep on having fun

and

All I ever wanted in the whole entire world
Was a darling little pink-clad, ribboned, frilly-dressing girl.
The sonogram has shown us that she's got a little dangle
Perhaps the photo's wrong, though--maybe it was just the angle?
Too bad the nursery's painted pink; too bad I bought the dress
Do you think I'll make my little boy's poor pysche a big mess?

and

It's true your mom's not married,
But that's not a cause to cry
Just because you'll never know for sure
About the father-guy.
But she hasn't told her parents yet--
I don't know what it's worth,
Do you think they'll buy a story
About a miracle virgin birth?

and:

We tried it all, my babies dear;
Each method only failed.
The manufacturers should really
Have to go to jail.
The condom leaked, and rhythm didn't
Do anything at all
The diaphragm, it shifted,
Though the distance was so small.
We love you all, this much is true,
We give you lots of toys,
But your names reflect our shame:
Leaky, Shifty, and The Rhythm Boys.

And finally:

My mother always told me that babies came by stork
Nine months ago we tried to spoon and ended up with "fork"

From rivian:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
In just a few months,
everything'll be covered in poo.

From ashcomp:

Glad you could make it
As we surely did
We'd better be ready,
'Cuz ZAP! Here's this kid!

From revid:

We know that you'll think
That our baby's awfully cute
So we're throwing this party
To collect some good loot.

From lady_of_mists:

Thank you, friends and neighbors
for your kindness at this time
I hope to see you in the coming months
before the walls I start to climb!

Our baby is sure to love these gifts
(or at least we do).
We made plans to use at least half of them
before their sizes he outgrew.

We appreciate your thoughtfulness
and all of this show of bounty
and we note that above all else
gift receipts will come in handy!

...

Anyone else want to try? *g*
Tags: babies, friends, oh noetry poetry, parties, poetry, silliness
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