May 11th, 2008

deadpool common sense

Deadpool. Weapon, Part I: The Devil

[Confused? Start at the beginning with Chapter 1]


Previously, on Deadpool: Weapon:

[Hey, chili dogs, what you doin’ up at this hour? Yeah, I couldn’t sleep either. So I guess instead I could fill you in on what was shakin' in Chapter 3. I know you were on the edge of your seats for The Big Fight Scene, but instead we had a mega-ton of lame dialogue with The Dark Knight right after I arrived in the Big Apple. Oh well. At least his name’s scarier than “Teen Titans.” Anyway, I think he must have had food poisoning or something, ‘cause there we were just chatting away and all of a sudden he was down on the ground in the fetal position muttering, “Please, make it stop.” I offered him some Rolaids but I don’t think he saw.

Now I’m about to put this plan idea devious little thought of mine into action so I can lure Deathstroke out for a fight. Man, I love picking fights with people; it’s such a rewarding activity. The punching, the kicking, the introspective dialogue – and if I’m lucky, maybe this time I won’t have all my limbs broken, or get a katana through my medulla oblongata, or be gutted by Wolverine again.
[It’d be much better if *I* was doing the gutting, just like I did in Wolverine #88. Ah, those were the days...] After I whup Deathstroke’s sorry behind, I’ma see if I can score some points with that feisty little brunette, Starfire. So stick around for the afterparty, ‘cause you wouldn’t want to miss that.]

Chapter 4: Collapse )

Chapter 5...I can haz fight now, pleez?


*Chapter title from Alabama Motel Room, by Matthew Good Band